You will be shocked, kids, when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever.

That’s why, when you find someone you want to keep around, you do something about it.
How I Met Your Mother  (via saintofsass)
223,100 notes   -  2 August 2014






do you remember when Weezer made a music video that was basically a compilation of memes and viral videos that, in retrospect, have aged like milk

okay but take a moment to imagine what this music video looks like to the younger generation who didn’t experience any of these memes

like what a bizarre compilation of non-sequiturs

this is youtube circa 2005 to 2008, what a time to be alive

26,491 notes   -  2 August 2014


I like how pet is also the word for touching your pet

100,984 notes   -  2 August 2014


In order to become the supreme adult, you must perform the seven wonders:

  • Public speaking
  • Not being afraid of teenagers
  • Calling the doctor yourself
  • Taxes
  • Arguing without crying
  • Having a normal sleep pattern
  • Having an answer to the question ‘what do you want to do with your life?’
715,816 notes   -  2 August 2014

  • Cop: Have you been drinking?
  • Me: I been drankin'
  • Cop: Surfbort
  • Me: Surfbort
180,718 notes   -  2 August 2014


the main thing i look forward to in life is raising dogs w/ someone i love

223,412 notes   -  2 August 2014